Old Blog Posts

25 / DEC / 2023

Merry Christmas, everyone!

On some level, life is all about give and take. I think everyone understands that, or at least feels it on a subconscious level. With it being the time of gift-giving and all, I figure you already have a read on the theme for this year's letter.

This year, I've been really forced to come to terms with how little I've given in relation to what I've taken. As an example, I think about a friend I had for the past year and the things he did for me. Beyond even that, I think about the friends that came and went before him. Throughout my life, I've never been able to handle positive attention from someone else. I'd always return the favor with hostility, ingratitude, or blatant apathy. I don't like having to admit that much, but it's true. I'm sorry if this letter seems too personal to my own experience; really I'm trying to use my own life as a model for others to benefit from. A "learn from the mistakes of others" sort of attitude.

Last year, I wrote about change and how it all comes to you naturally. But now, I'm not so sure. At some point you have to come to terms with effort being a necessity. It takes effort to achieve things, it takes effort to change, and it takes effort to give back to the world that offered so much to you. It's all a game of give and take, just as the annual exchange of presents is. You give to someone, and you take from someone. If one part of the equation is missing, then someone is showing a sort of disrespect to the other, willingly or not.

After a while, you start to realize that there are people you're indebted to, or who are indebted to you. If you're lucky, the realization will only come to you after the fact; once they've already been gone from your life for a while and then you realize how much they gave you. But if you're not as lucky, the reckoning will come at the cost of someone you currently know.

Back to my anecdote, that's what ended up happening to me towards the end of the year. I'd taken too much from that friend and didn't return the respect and patience he'd given me. The worst part is that it didn't bother me at first when he cut me out of his life. It took a month or so for it to sink in and for me to realize what I'd lost and how much I failed to give back to him. And of course, I questioned what I failed to give back to other people.

It's nice to think that Christmas is the day where we can finally give back and make things right that way, but the truth isn't that convenient. Christmas is more of a reminder. A reminder of the fact that you ought to give as much as you take. And as much of a shame as that is, reminders are necessary if we want to keep making good memories for ourselves and others. Recognize what you've been given and try to figure out what you could return.

Start today. If there's someone you feel you haven't given enough to, then ye old Christmas Spirit might be a good motivator in making up for lost time. I have other friends who have been generous to me, and to return the favor I've been planning some Christmas surprises for them.

The best is yet to come,
GEN☹SAD

{ END LOG }

12 / Oct / 2023

Well, they did it.

They actually fucking did it.

Youtube has restricted their users from using ad blockers, and for the time being, there's nothing we can do about it. I've messed around with uBlock for the better part of an hour and still haven't found a way to bypass this screen, so I basically have to sit on my ass and wait for AdBlock Plus or uBlock Origin to find some way around it, assuming I won't have to turn to another ad blocker entirely.

Now, I know what a few of you might be thinking: "Why is it so important that you block ads? Why don't you just unblock them or pay YouTube Premium?"

To answer the last part of the question: I don't have money to give to YouTube, and even if I did I wouldn't be interested. The answer to my disintrest lies within my answer to the first part of the question...

YouTube is part Google, which is in turn part of a larger company called Alphabet. What does Alphabet do? Well, to put it simply: They're a conglomerate. This means that they own several large tech companies, most of which have "Google" as part of their names, and exist for the sole purpose of collecting all of the money that these subsidiaries earn, then put that money into expanding their businesses as much as possible.

One of the biggest sins that Google regularly commits is how it works in conjunction with advertisers to take away the people's right to privacy. "How?" you ask? Well, let's take a look into the world of personalized advertising; a concept that you, yourself, can look up right now if you don't believe me!

Personalized advertisements are just that: Advertisements that are tailored to appeal to you (or in other words, "personalized") due to your activity on the internet. Whatever websites you've visited, whatever ads you've clicked, whatever items you've bought, whatever posts you've liked on social media, and even some of the software you use or have downloaded are all saved as information that's collected to personalize the advertisements shown to you.

Who collects this information? The websites you visit. And as long as you're using Google or a website that's owned by Google *cough* YOUTUBE *cough,* this information will be collected by Google and sold to advertisers. Yes, that's right, the things you've done in the past, forgotten and remembered by you, are kept by the faceless corporations of Google, social media companies, and whomever's looking to buy. Through the use of ad blockers such as uBlock Origin, however, you can actually block most of these trackers and regain some of your privacy.

To those of you who are already web-savvy, I can see you rolling your eyes from the other side of the screen. "Yes, Geno," you say, "Thanks for pointing out the patently fucking obvious. Do you also plan on telling us about the astonishing number of fingers on the average person's hand?"

But the thing is, there's an astonishing number of people who don't know about this, and out of the people who do know, they seem to be willfully ignorant of it all. It's hard to blame them; after all, considering how omnipresent Google is, living in a way where you aren't being tracked online is really an uphill battle. And even then, it's not just Google; Facebook, Amazon, Microsoft, Apple, and virtually every other million-dollar tech company has been treating your personal information as a commodity to be bought and sold. Living without being tracked by these companies would be too much effort for most people.

But hey, that won't stop me from bringing it up every chance I can.

"All right, all right," Mr. Moderate says as he rises from his seat, "Maybe you're right in taking back what little privacy you can while browsing YouTube. But what about the creators? The money that those advertisements generate also go back to YouTube creators, don't they? And hey, if you pay for the Premium service, that's even better! All of the benefits, none of the ads!"

Ah, yes, forgive me for being blind to how much more privacy I gain by giving my banking information to Google! How foolish of me...

Aside from that, the money is only going to creators in a technical sense. Not only is it already being split with the revenue that advertisers are getting, but it's also going to Google, who then puts the money into YouTube, who then pays the content creators in return.

And look, I get it, you care about independant content creators - or at least I like to imagine the ones you care about are independant, but that's besides the point. If you really want to support them, do it directly. Subscribe to their Patreons or Ko-Fis or just give direct donations; whatever service puts more money in their pockets than that of the webhosts. Don't just throw your money at a faceless company and assume that they can be trusted to distribute a monthly payment of $10 to the 58 YouTubers you watched today.

But let's not be debbie downers here, yeah? After all, what kind of counter-culture would I be trying to contribute to if I just bitched about the way things are without even hinting at making things better? Let's talk about the thing I love to talk about every time I promise to leave YouTube for real this time: Alternative websites!

Odysee

Not gonna dwell on this one for too long since I've talked about it in the past, but yes: Odysee exists as an alternative to YouTube, and it's a fairly popular one at that. I mostly just use it to watch archived videos of The Bad Guys, but when Shrouded Hand's videos appeared in my YouTube feed (which stopped happening for some reason), I was always sure to go to the uncensored versions on Odysee. Solid JJ also has it, which actually kind of surprised me the first time my browser extension redirected me to the Odysee page. Of course, as I've said in the past, EmpLemon has a channel on Odysee where you can still watch his YTPs, although his Downward Diary channel isn't on there.

As far as YouTube alternatives go, you can certainly do a lot worse than this (BitChute comes to mind). The population of fringe conspiracy nuts seems to have grown as of recently, but I'm sure that's just a result of more level-headed people leaving the website behind once they saw it as less convenient than just staying on YouTube.

Either way, I'd say to give it a go.

NewPipe

I was at a family reunion in Gatlinburg over the summer, drinking vodka and playing cards with my uncles who happen to have degrees in software development. I brought up the shame of not having some sort of AdBlock equivalent on mobile, which probably came out as something like "Dude... dude, it... Man, it sucks that you can't, like, block ads on YouTube, you know, like... Like man, what if there was like an ad blocker for mobile?"

To turn 15 drunken exchanges of dialogue into a single sentence: There actually is an ad blocker for mobile YouTube, and it goes by NewPipe.

I've had it installed ever since that summer night, but never really bothered to use it until recently when I got fed up with YouTube's shit and uninstalled the mobile app in a fit of apoidic rage. In the past few days since then, I've been kicking myself for not doing so sooner.

Not only does NewPipe offer an ad-free experience to YouTube, it also offers the benefits of YouTube Premium such as playing videos in the background, as well as an ad-free experience for SoundCloud and limitless access to Bandcamp! If I'm being honest, having complete access to songs on Bandcamp leaves a bad taste in my mouth because I see that site as a good way to support independant creators. But hey, as long as it goes against your moral standards, you can always just refrain from doing it!

I'd say the only real problem with NewPipe is that you need to re-subscribe to the channels you used to watch, since there's not account integration. But honestly, I don't see that as a negative so much as I see it as a way to re-evaluate the channels you've been watching and find out which great YouTubers you've forgotten about or which shitty YouTubers still show up in your feed dispite you no longer liking their content.

Invidious

Big thanks to the boize on Agora Road for turning my attention to this one, because I was actually unaware of it. I had heard of yewtu.be before on Lainchan, but never bothered to look into it because... Well, shit, YouTube hadn't done anything crazy enough that month for me to start looking into alternatives. It was something that lingered in my mind, though, as was evident by my recognition of it on the list of Invidious hosts.

Invidious is an alternative frontend for YouTube, which basically means that it has access to every video that's currently available on YouTube. All at once. All without tracking.

This one is a lot less convenient than NewPipe or Odysee, though, because you're completely unable to have an account on it, and the lack of an algorithm (as far as I can tell) means that the "related" videos aren't guaranteed to be interesting to you. Although, that might end up being a good thing in the end considering the gigantic timesink that YouTube tends to be.

Embeds and Downloads

Of course, if all else fails, you can just do it your-fucking-self. Embedding YouTube videos onto other sites like forums actually bypasses the adblock-block and lets you watch it without trouble. Hell, why not stop there? Just go to a YouTube-to-MP4 website and keep the damn video on your computer! No ads, no frontend, no internet connection required. Just you and the video, together forever (until hardware failure).

{ END LOG }

28 / Aug / 2023

You guys remember 4 years ago when I said I'd be writing my own novel? Don't get too excited, because that plan has long since been abandoned.

But, with that said, there are 2 other projects that I'm working on; both of which are on a much smaller scale, and not something for which I'll make any promises. Instead, I'll take a different angle and try to be a bit more transparent about them as I work, which will most likely mean making an update to the site that I've been holding out for. More on that part later.

The first "project" I want to mention is actually more of a concept than anything else, and to be honest I don't think it'll go anywhere, but it's something I'll hold out a sliver of hope for: A video game!

Please, fellas, contain your excitement. As I said, it's not likely to go anywhere, which is the main reason why I'm putting it out in the open without having the pitch completely finished. But first and foremost, what's this game even about?

To sum it up in the shortest way possible: A side-scrolling beat-'em-up set in Silent Hill University.

You play as a customized character (with the customizations emphasizing the aspects of peoples' identities that college students are most worried about; i.e. race, sexuality, and political standing) who attends university in a college town. It's not exactly "middle-of-nowhere," but it is remote enough for the campus to be considered its own sort of "downtown." You're entering second year, meaning you'll have a few more freedoms than when you first came in here, but you're still learning how to take advantage of college life. On move-in day, you were optimistic, but then things took a turn for the worst...

Almost overnight, without any warning, the townspeople around campus were struck by something that made them lifeless. Not as in "having no life," but "being less than life." Hell, maybe even less than death. They've become something eldritch; something cosmic. Zombies? No, they're too inhuman. Monsters? Maybe, but somehow that description feels incomplete.

You don't know what the exact nature of their affliction is, but you sure as Hell don't want to get it yourself. The good news is that, for some reason, it doesn't seem to affect students at all. The administration does seem to be acting up a bit, but then again, you'd probably go crazy if enigmatic psuedo-humanoids were taking over everything.

Which they are.

Actually, the eeriest thing of all is probably how nonchalant the rest of the students are. The world is crumbling right before their eyes, and all they can think about is which path to take to the library so they can start working on those papers. They have futures to secure, damn it! They can't be bothered by these Silent Hill shenanigans when there are real problems that affect them and the rest of society!

Well, maybe as long as they're ignoring it, you might as well look into the situation. Maybe once you find the solution, people will actually be willing to do something about it.

The story isn't quite hashed out, since I want to get the worldbuilding done first and foremost. Rather than building the setting around the story, I'd prefer to build the story, and its possible (multiple?) endings around the setting.

Speaking of which, my ideal vision of the artstyle would be of 2D characters in a 3D environment, similar to how Square Enix made their Octopath games, but in a side-scrolling area instead of top-down. I'd like for the visual style to be based off of cata_dioptric's art (with these images as examples), and if it were possible to have her as an art director (wishful thinking), that would make the ideal atmosphere.

To cap off this concept, I'll give some info and flavor text about the playing styles...

Scrapper (fists)
"You like to get close. Real Close. First-name-basis kind of close. Makes sense, considering it'd be awkward to kill someone you don't know."

Improviser (melee weapons)
"So you're not allowed to have weapons on campus. That's fine. After all, that knife of yours is for utility purposes. And that hammer's for nailing posters onto your wall. The crowbar? Yeah, that's just for a personal project."

Shooter (guns (duh))
"You know you're not supposed to own this sort of thing, considering how against-the-rules it is to carry an AR that you modified with a coat hanger to fire at full-auto... on a college campus. But hey, if the administration has a problem, they can come and take it."

Scrapper + Improviser = "Misanthrope"
"You know those guys in horror movies who wear freaky masks and use oversized knives to cut people up after strangling them? Yeah, you're one of those."

Improviser + Shooter = "Anthropophobe"
"The closest you'll ever let anyone get to you is still an arm's length away. By the way, how's your love life?"

Scrapper + Shooter = "Extremophile"
"Hey, don't worry. We all miss our shots sometimes. Some of us are just more prepared than others to deal with the consequences."

Scrapper + Improviser + Shooter = "Four Suits"
"Let's be honest, you don't really need to excel in something. You just need to know a little bit about everything."

My second project is one that I've kept inside of my head for a very long time, and to be honest I might have been brewing it subconsiously since I was a little kid. Thing is, I never properly manifested the idea in any form besides conversations with friends and in-my-head ramblings. This project is "A Guide to the Physnet," and it's essentially a worldbuilding exercise in imagining the Internet as a physical space. Hence its name, the Physnet.

My initial plan was to write everything down about the Physnet as I could, then make it as a seperate series of pages on this website in a manner similar to charl0tte. The thing is, because this idea has spent so much time inside my head, I have a hard time actually putting it on paper. Every time I sit down to hash things out, my imagination outpaces my hands, and I inevitably can't focus on actually writing anything down. This is why, despite my initial intentions of documenting everything and then dumping it as a massive surprise-update, I've decided to jump straight to putting it down in the online format, and gradually work on it as time goes by.

Surprisingly enough, the most difficult part about A Guide to the Physnet isn't getting the ideas down; it's writing out an introduction and choosing what kind of tone I should put it in. At first, I put it down in a much-too-transparent tone where I blatantly say "this is my idea of what it would look like," but after fleshing out some of the Physnet's properties, I decided that it needed more formal tone. This changed again to a more in-between tone ("business casual," I would call it) after I fleshed out the ideas some more and revisited the intro once again.

So, as much as I'd like to say "expect me to post the 'intro' sometime within the next day or so," I first need to pick a tone and settle on that before making it public. And, incidentally, keep up with college assignments.

I hate to be vague about this project in particular, since it's much more toned-down than the idealistic game idea that I've already written 9 pages about (yes, really). But, considering the fact that you'll be seeing more of the Physnet either way, I don't think it's that big of a deal.

Anyway, thanks for being a good sport and reading this wall of text all the way through. I hope you also appreciate me moving my old blog posts to another page, because honestly, putting every single post on one page makes it exhausting to look at the one-pixel-tall scroll bar. Goodbye for now, and see you when I see you!

{ END LOG }

25 - MAR - 2023

I was doing some thinking earlier the other day (A rare occurence, I know) when my mind wandered to the concept of "monthly rituals." I don't mean holidays like Christmas or Halloween; I mean events that last at least a few days or weeks within a month. March Madness came to mind, with it presently being March, and as it did so, the thought of a "March ritual" kept lingering in the back of my mind for some reason. I wasn't sure why until the memory hit me like a truck

For 4 years straight, this 30-day music "challenge" (not all that challenging, really) was something that I did every March. There was never really a reason for it being in March, aside from the fact that I happened to find it during that month in 2015. After rediscovering this image, I ran to get the Google Doc where I'd written my past entries every time I did the challenge. As you'd expect, it turned into an interesting listening session. I can't say that my taste in music is any better or worse than it used to be, but it certainly is different.

In recent years, I don't think I've run into that many "challenges," let alone any that actually interested me to the point of wanting to participate. Maybe it's because I'm so far removed from social media at this point, but to me it seems that the trend has simply fallen out of favor. This is all to say that finding this image gave me the old fuzzy-wuzzy nostalgy-walgy feelings, and because of that, I figured I might as well share an old memory with you fellas.

Of course, I also figured I'd show you the 30-song playlist that I quickly whipped up after rediscovering this "challenge." Knowing that I probably don't have the mental energy to carry it out over the course of 30 days, I went through every song in one sitting, and hopefully you'll get some enjoyment out of it.
If not, well hey, you can still just do the "challenge" on your own!

  1. Перемотка - Здравствуй
  2. Elton John - I'm Still Standing
  3. Foo Fighters - Best of You
  4. SID - Uso
  5. Sadsvit - Nyeba
  6. Gui.tar - Sunkissed
  7. Derek & The Dominoes - Bell Bottom Blues
  8. Scarza - Wishful Thinking
  9. DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide
  10. Silver Mt. Zion - 13 Angels Standing ‘Round the Foot of Your Bed
  11. Scarza - Didn’t Know
  12. XXXTENTACION - Moonlight
  13. GROUPLOVE - Tongue Tied
  14. Billy Currington - People are Crazy
  15. The National - Exile Vilify
  16. Joji - Will He
  17. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give it Away
  18. Boa - Elephant (Duvet is overrated)
  19. MF DOOM - One Beer
  20. Carpenter Brut - Le Perv
  21. Hall and Oates - Out of Touch
  22. 13 and God - Perfect Speed
  23. When in Rome - The Promise
  24. Jackal Queenston - Rubber Band
  25. Westley Willis - Suck a Caribou’s Ass
  26. Los Fabulosos Cadillacs - Matador (OK so I can only play the intro, but it still counts)
  27. Перемотка - Мир не видит твоей простоты
  28. George Michaels - Careless Whisper
  29. Shinji Miyazaki - Secret Garden
  30. Droeloe - Bon Voyage

{ END LOG }

12 - DEC - 2022

Hey there, fellas and fellarinas! Been a minute since my last blog post, hasn't it?
To tell the truth, I'm mostly doing this as a follow-up to my previous "Walks through the Net" post. Ever since I just dumped a bunch of websites that you probably knew about already, I've been more floating around the Net than actually exploring it. Even so, I've found myself in some pretty fun and interesting places, and I figure you might get a kick out of the things I've seen.
So let's tangle ourselves up in the Web, shall we?

I first want to talk about Fungimancy. Yes, I know it's another Neocities website, but this isn't one that I found while browsing Neocities's roster. Actually, I came across it while browsing Lainchan (my current imageboard of choice, despite my lack of computing knowledge), and it posed a very interesting idea: Computers powered by fungal colonies.
Now, I'm not a science man (much less am I a fungus man), and I'm frankly not entirely sure how it's meant to work, but from what I can gather, FungimancerAnon is currently trying to get to the stage of reading the tiny electrical pulses "that mushrooms use to communicate," in their words. Communicate how? I dunno, I'm not a science man. Funganon (as I affectionately like to call them) linked an article by Silo Reboot that overviews how plants use mycelia to communicate. The roots of plants link up to mycelia to not only send electrical pulses, but also various chemicals all for the sake of warning each other of threats, sharing nutrients, or in competitive settings, sabotage each others' nutrient intake. Of course, Funganon's concern here is with the electrical pulses. Right now the project is at square one: Creating a mycelium colony. The first attempt resulted in a bit of a setback, so things are still a little shaky, but the oscilloscope seems to be coming out in good shape.
Oh, and I made a web button that they decided to use! This marks a personal accomplishment, if I'm being honest, hehe...

Next up is Gikopoi (or its alternative, Gikopoipoi), a unique type of webchat where you join as a kaomoji and just have some fun with the boize. It's been a while since I've been on it (mostly due to forcing myself to have an IRL social life), but I can say that there's always some silly fellas on there who are plenty of fun. Most of the time, though, it's just people watching someone stream. Even so, I enjoy it, and I'd like to spend moar time on it in the future!

Lastly, rave.dj is a program that you're probably heard of before. I discovered it through this YouTube channel, and I have to say it's interesting. MOTE, another online friend of mine, told me that the program is really a hit-or-miss, and judging by the mix I made, I have to agree. I used it to generate a mashup of Benci Untuk Mencinta ("Hate to Love You") and Tsubasa wo Kudasai ("Please Give Me Wings"), which I call Cinta wo Kudasai ("Please Give Me Love").
This mashup alone is hit-or-miss with some moments. The bit after the intro is a bit sudden, the ending is too chaotic, and it certainly lacks the polish that only a human could give it. But when the song hits its climax at 1:59... fuck, it really hits. I might upload it to my music YouTube channel, but I dunno, it's not quite good enough for me to feel as though I want to share it. Maybe if I knew how to mashup music, I would clean up the whole thing, but it really isn't high on my priority list. Either way, I kinda like the outcome and wanna share it on some level.

Well now, that concludes that. I hope you'll join me for my next walk through the Net!

{ END LOG }

14 - JUL - 2O22

I wanna open up this month's blog with a little story...

Some time ago, maybe about a year or some number of months, I accidentally spent a full day on YouTube. I just turned on my PC, opened my web browser, and fed off of YouTube's endless stream of garbage for over 8 hours. I didn't do anything creative, I didn't play any games, I didn't even talk to anyone on Discord. I just sat on my ass and numbed my brain to video after video. It wasn't until the end of the day when I switched off my monitor and suddenly realized what I had just done: I shot down a day of potential and fed it to a gluttonous video-sharing website that I honestly don't enjoy all that much. I felt guilty, as if I'd betrayed myself by ignoring every opportunity to create or interact with anything.

At that moment, sitting upright in bed and looking out my window, I gave myself something of a challenge for the sake of self-betterment: Try to visit one new website a day. It doesn't have to be something interactive, relatable, or even enjoyable; it just has to be something I haven't visited before.

Truth is, the Net has been monopolized by Alphabet (Google's parent company), Meta Platforms (Facebook's parent company), and Tencent. The only way to pull out of this harsh reality is to immerse ourselves into the vast array of sites on the Net. Don't sit and eat the same endless stream of garbage. Go outside and find something new.


Right, that's enough of that. The real purpose of this blog post is to show you giuse where I've been since I started doing these daily "walks throught the Net," as I like to call them. I've dawdled long enough with the intro, so I'll cut to the chase and show some interesting sites I've visited:

First up are some Neocities websites. If you're reading this, chances are you already browse Neocities and know about these sites... Just humour me for a bit, okai?

WMBU is an online radio station, and... You know what, I have to be honest: I keep forgetting to actually tune in and listen to a broadcast. The site is on a hiatus as of writing, but it should be over by the time you're reading this. Broadcasts are at 8PM EST on Saturdays and Tuesdays, and despite knowing that by heart, I keep fucking forgetting to tune in. Please forgive me, WMBU ;~;

Hotline Cafe is probably the most versatile site I've seen yet. It's run by a guy who's done it all: Music, photography, artwork, CB Radio (something that I've always wanted to get into, but never knew where to start), and even games. Yes, games. If you want to spend a few hours poking around and seeing what this guy's made, I highly reccommend it, even if it'll make you feel insecure about how little you've accomplished in comparison to him.

EGGRAMEN is one of those sites that I'm always sure to keep up with whenever there's another update. I mostly just like to admire the CSS test pages, but it'd be a sin to not mention the interactive fiction and conlangs. Admittedly, I've never been a big fan of conlangs (aside from Synapsian, but for a very specific reason), but they take way too much effort to just be ignored. I've also been a big fan of CYOAs, so if that's your thing, then check out this site!
Just remember that Problem Sleuth will always be better than Homestuck, no matter what people say.

Lastly, I know you've all heard of Nostalgia for the 2000s, but as a grubby little zoomer, it hits close to home and I adore the shit out of it. In particular, it reminds me of the days when I would poke around on DeviantArt and the Minecraft Forums back when I was in 5th grade with my mom's shitty WinXP laptop. I get a lot of nostalgia from websites with simple CSS, as well as ameteur drawings that try to capture an anime artstyle during a period when the rest of the world didn't exactly know how to replicate it.


Of course I looked at some sites aside from Neocities, and these ones vary quite a bit. Regardless, I still go back to take a look at them from time to time, and I'd reccommend doing the same for yourselves:

Odysee is another one of those doomed-to-fail YouTube alternatives that I can't help but applaud for its successes so far. There are actually a lot of popular YouTube channels on the site like Hyun's Dojo, Cinemassacre, and EmpLemon (whose YTPs are actually still up on his page!). There are some problems, of course, such as the looming presence of fringe right-wingers and the lack of a decent algorithm for related videos. I think the site should be given a fair shake regardless, and will definitely be my safe haven for the next time YouTube decides to commit another holocaust.

Jet Set Radio Live is a website that I actually found in late 2019/early 2020 while I was playing Jet Set Radio. I also played the fan-made Jet Set Radio Future Multiplayer, which is how I heard of the site. It has some "stations" with varying genres of music (mostly just hip-hop subgenres), including the OSTs to the JSR games and some indie games that were inspired by JSR. That's not all! There's also a page where you can post "graffiti" images, and see the wacky shit that other people have posted. There's even a chatroom, and although it tends to be a bit empty, the discussion is usually very comfy. On the off-chance that you see a guy called "OldManYoYo" in the chat... Yep, that's me.

The Chris-Chan Wiki has been my most recent obsession, as I just can't pass up the opportunity to observe the life of the most well-documented person in history. I... I really wish I had the words to properly introduce you to this man and his antics, but every time I see anyone try to explain Chris, they fail to do justice to his mind-blowingly idiotic antics. It's best that you delve in headfirst. Just make sure to bring an oxygen tank, because you're going to be down there for a long time.


I also want to take advantage of the fact that a lot of people have their own personal problems with 4chan. For some, there's too much focus on politics, while others feel that the site has become too "normified." Others feel a sense of betrayal by all the shilling that the site and its owners have done, while still others just find the site to be plain boring nowadays. My biggest complaint about the site is that it's too big, which I believe to be the reason for it becoming overly politicized in addition to causing most other gripes that former users have with it. The solution, as many have proposed, are Altchans! This speed-round "finale" should wrap up this blogpost, and each site will come with a one-sentence description of the site and its culture, a one-sentence review, and a rating out of 10.

8kun is a "revival" (I'm using that term really fucking loosely) of the now-defunct 8chan.
The site now consists of schizophrenic Q-worshippers (redundant as the term may be) and archived boards (of which the only good boards weren't even archived), plus you can't make your own board anymore.
0/10

9chan could be considered the closest thing to a successful revival of 8chan, including the feature of being able to successfully make your own board.
There's a shit-ton of boards, and while this leads to a lack of a cohesive culture on the site, it ensures that most users will find something they like.
7/10
SIDE NOTE: I personally don't use 9chan, but given the right circumstances, I believe that it has the potential to be the best Altchan out there. We just need to get /pol/itics out of our imageboards, I'M FUCKING BEGGING YOU. Imageboard culture would be improved so much if every /pol/ user choked to death on their own manifesto.

3chan is an altchan that was made because that's what you do when you're sick of 4chan.
It's small enough to be able to keep track of it, although the site isn't put together as well as every other altchan.
5/10
SIDE NOTE: I do enjoy browsing this site, and have been visiting daily since I found it last week. I mostly lurk /www/ and /cb/, since I have a fond appreciation of Net culture and femboys.

420chan is an imageboard about drugs.
The site's appearance is actually pretty dope, and while I've only been there once or twice, /jenk/ still has me rolling.
9/10

Perfectchan is an imageboard that I'm putting here because MOTE will kill me if I don't.
There's funny stuff on /b/ I guess.
10/10

BONUS ROUND: Mellowchan is a textboard that made me laugh.
6/10


All right, that about wraps it all up in a pretty little bow. Sorry for this being the longest blog post in history, but I have a lot to talk about in terms of the Net and I wanted to make up for the fact that my YouTube/Odysee channel has been pretty dry for the last few months. In any case, I hope you enjoyed this year's read!

{ END LOG }

26 - APR - 2022

Here's a fun fact I've never shared on this site: I'm a DJ for my uni's radio station! It's actually really fun, and believe it or not, it's basically the highlight of every week for me. My show's called "Odes to Obscurities," and as you can probably guess, I basically play lesser-known music from obscure artists. Admittedly, some songs I play aren't really that obscure, but the important thing is that they're obscure when put into the context of other songs on the radio. I'd wager that a majority of Net users know about Breakcore for example, but Joe Normie obviously hasn't even heard of it.

Which leads me to the most recent installment of my radio DJ show. This week, I was up for nomination for DJ of the Week, and incidentally it happened to line up with the week where I planned and rehearsed a whole intro for the show. It's not the best performance ever, and I probably could have practiced it a few more times, but it's the best intro I've done on the radio so far.

As for the DJ of the Week competition... Well, I was really anxious about it. When I was up for nomination last semester, the polling system on the radio station's website seemed to be rigged against me. I told my family about it, and they said that I should have gotten at least 20 votes, but the site only showed about 11. Pretty odd, but I know it's not uncommon for people to pretend to support someone else when they really don't care or have the time. Besides, I was just running a generic radio show without the "obscurity" aspect, so it makes sense that no-one would have particularly cared about my show.

But this semester was different in the complete opposite way. When I first checked, I had 7 votes, while the leading competitor had 74 votes and second-place had 33. I decided to share the news around with some online friends and gave them the link to the station's website Somehow, some way... this happened within one hour.

No clue where these votes came from. Family? Probably. Friends? Likely. But I don't have this many people in my corner, I can tell you that much. Were people actually enjoying my show, and somehow their votes only came in within an hour? I don't think so. As it turned out, a close friend of mine decided to share the link with all of her friends as well, which would explain the sudden income of votes...

...it WOULD.

And this is where the plot thickens


And this was all in about 6 hours. Now, am I saying there was some sort of rig? Nah, that's kind of a petty accusation to make, but it is really strange. And then this happened in 2 days:

Are 2,700 people really listening to college radio and splitting the difference between two people? Why does a show that's been on the station longer than the other two have the least votes? And why is it being dwarfed by them? Why do I and Brianna have so many fucking votes out of nowhere? What the Hell is going on here?

I talked to a friend about it, and with a little snooping we found that the voting system is through a site called "EasyPolls." It's a free service and, from the looks of it, it doesn't seem to be a widely-used program. My guess is that the system is just glitched somehow. Maybe there's an error in the way it counts or registers votes, and the actual number is somehow skewed because of it.

Honestly? I want to believe that I got 1,400 votes in the end, but the more I think about it, the less I think it's legitimate. Do I deserve this award, as small as it is? Would I have won if it wasn't for a buggy system? I dunno.

But either way, I'd be lying if I said that I'm not happy with the result.

Here's a victory pic, featuring my new Foxhound patch:

Oh, yeah! The station also put out a recording of my most recent show. You can check it out here, if you want.

{ END LOG }

13 - MAR - 2022

Ya know, I'm still thinking about writing a novel/la, but I've had too many ideas with varying levels of "fleshed-outedness" that obviously never went far enough to be fully-fledged novel/las.

If you've been keeping up with this site since the beginning, you might remember my mention of "CusServ," which was supposed to be a cyberpunk action story told from the perspective of background characters. Rather than an epic quest to take down corrupt overlords, the change in perspective would turn it into the story of a terroristic renegade destroying buildings and slaughtering government officials. Papers, Please was a partial influence in this idea, since that game funnels a whole story about international struggles, war crimes, etc. through the eyes of one guy stamping "yes" or "no" on passports.

I've also had two other ideas worth sharing: One about an innocent man being kidnapped, and another about a post-apocalypse taking place after the awakening of an eldritch god.

The one about the guy being kidnapped is (sort of) in the works, although I don't have much work done on it. The title is Wrong Guy, and the main character is just a regular person who works part-time as a radio DJ. However, his brother owes money to the Turkish mafia, and so the main character's been kidnapped as ransom. If the brother doesn't give $800,000 in a week, the main character will get killed.
A week passes, and nothing happens. No money, and no release. It's when the main character is about to be killed when he fully realizes that his brother simply left him for dead. The adrenaline kicks in and he manages to kill the two thugs keeping him hostage. I'm not exactly certain how the scene would go, but I do want his victory to be a total and obvious fluke. he survives one encounter, but now he has to escape through an industrial complex that's under full control of the gang.
Because he's a normal guy, he's ill-equipped for pretty much any confrontation. Frail stature, no weapons know-how, and a psyque unfit for to-the-death conflict. The only way he can get out is to be born as a new man through a baptism by fire.

The last idea I have is really, really undeveloped, but I've enjoyed playing with it for the past few weeks. The setting is in a post-apocalypse where cities have been reduced to overgrown rubble, and the theme is a bit similar to Berserk. The apocalyptic event is referred to as The Banquet, where the moon hatched and gave birth to a cosmic god. This god would use Earth as its nest, consuming souls and shaping land as it hones its power before the time comes for it to leave. During The Banquet, this god ate innumerable souls, plucking them away one-by-one and leaving Earth at a quarter of its initial population. While The Banquet resulted in loss of souls, the power given off by the god would end up multiplying the potency of leftover souls.
Now, I'm not exactly sure if this is the route I want to take, but I feel like Native American ceremonies could end up being a motif to display the newfound potency of the world's spirits. There's an aim to evoke the spirits of various animals in most ceremonial dances, and through the potency of souls, these evokations would end up giving rise to actual spirits. A dance for an eagle, for example, could produce a phoenix or a firebird. Again, this idea is something I'm more just playing around with than anything else, plus I don't want to misrepresent things on accident and cause a stir because of it.
In any case, this idea is up in the air and probably won't get anywhere, but it's been really fun to think about.

Oh yeah, I'm also thinking up some ways to make my site look better without resorting to a full CSS overhaul. I've been brainstorming ideas for a header image, but haven't been able to come up with anything good, and I talked to a pixel artist to see if he can do a new background for me. Things are up in the air... And that's really all I have to say.

{ END LOG }

07 - MAR - 2022

Did you miss me?

Yes, that last blog post (probably) wasn't a fluke: I'm here to stay (probably)!

Actually, I should be fully up-front: I have no idea how long I'll be actively updating the site. For the sake of full transparency, I ought to say that I'm keeping myself occupied with this so that I don't go out and ruin other peoples' days.

I've been in college for 3 semesters now, and... Well, people are right when they tell you that you'll learn new things about yourself at uni. Me? I've learned that I'm really, really not a people person. I've also learned that my drunk self is probably the biggest asshole I've met, so parties on the weekends are pretty much out of the question. I've never really been in a group of people where I felt like I belonged and... Well, my time in uni hasn't changed that one bit. If anything, the feeling's grown bigger as I've stepped out of my comfort zone more often. Social life just isn't for me.

So, back to the original point I wanted to make here, I think I should try delving further into Neocities and seeing how this whole "websites as a 'social' network" concept goes. I've always hated Reddit, 4chan is full of idiots, and social media... Do I really need to tell you what's wrong with it?

Most importantly, though: I want to use this place as a portfolio for my writing, which is what I've wanted to do all along. At the risk of sounding like an old man, I'm not getting any younger, and this is the prime time to establish myself as whatever I want to be. I don't want to waste all my time living as a kid, and I sure as Hell don't want to get a dead-end job.

Here's to hoping I can keep up this positive momentum! Ciao!

{ END LOG }

12 - DEC - 2021

Hot damn, it's been a while, hasn't it?

I know I've been... relatively more active on the rest of this site than I have on this blog. Frankly speaking, I kinda feel like leaving this page as-is, but I dunno... Something about this page's personal nature leaves me torn. Do I play the dishonest game and take it down, or do I play the attention-whoring game and leave it up?

Damn, now that I think about it, I think this is why I don't update the blog: It always spirals into the exact opposite direction from where I wanted it to go.

All right, I'm actually posting to show you guys a mini-ARG that I made for one of my college classes. It's called "charl0tte."

It's not a textbook example of an ARG, nor is it as cryptic as they get, but I think I did a... servicable job. I dunno, that's up for you guys (and my professor) to decide.

See you guys in like 5 years!

{ END LOG }

25 - May - 2020

Con-graduations!

I remember, when I was in first grade, I was told that I'd be graduating in 2020. The year seemed so distant that it was like a false promise. I felt as if it would never even come.

And yet, here I am.

I had plenty of doubts for a successful graduation, too. I've failed classes and worked my ass off to get the grades back up, and I'd say that the hard work was well worth it. Now, I'm finished. Done. Finito.

Well, at least until college lmao.

Honestly, my issues from high school seem a lot more trivial to me now. Maybe that's just because those years are gone, though. Now, those anxieties have been replaced. How will I handle it when I move out? What will I do after I finish college? Will I finish college? Either way, what will happen?

Well, I suppose I'll take things one step at a time.

{ End Log }

14 - Mar - 2020

The moment has come! By decree of Ohio state law, I am going to be at home, away from school, for the next three weeks! Thank you so much, Corona-Sama!

All right, so I need to come up with a list of things to do before this "break" is over. School itself isn't cancelled, however the campus is shut down, so we'll have to do all of our work from home. With this in mind, I'll be making schoolwork my top priority. With that aside, however, here's a rough list of stuff I want to do during these 3 weeks. Hopefully, I can complete them and not end up fucking myself over by my own laziness!

{ End Log }

11 - Mar - 2020

Corona-Chan is coming to town!

So today in school, we got an announcement that we might end up shutting down and continuing classes online. I've been coughing and sneezing lately, so it seems that I might already have Corona, so that's also nice lmoa.

Honestly, if it turns out that I do have Corona, then I don't mind. I can spend time alone with Corona-Chan, and pretend that having a virus is the same thing as being fucked by an imaginary waifu. Hey, I'm already helplessly lonely, so what's wrong with me pretending to be raped by Corona-Chan?

I love you, Corona-Chan!

{ End Log }

09 - Mar - 2020

Hey. Just writing this to let everyone know I'm still alive, I guess.

I set up a Systemspace forum with Quint, if anyone cares.

Yeah. That's it.

Bye.

{ End Log }

05 - Mar - 2020

I suck.

I haven't been writing; the only shit I've done as far as that goes is just writing stuff into this blog. Every time I write something, I end up looking at it later and I find out that it sucks. I'm always proud of everything I make, but then I look at it later and I think, "Wow, what a piece of shit."

So then, what's the point of writing or even doing anything when I know I'm going to hate it later on? I'm probably not even going to do anything related to writing once I grow up, so why bother trying to improve in it, even if it's just a hobby?

I'm no good, I'm no good, I'm no good.

{ End Log }

04 - Mar - 2020

Speaking of CusServ, I have an idea for a prequel to that story. CusServ is going to be a cyberpunk-type story, in a world where America is under rule by one political party, but I think it would also be interesting to show how such a world came into being.

The idea is that the one US party, The United Party, comes into being after a series of riots that take place as a result of division between the political right and the political left. The riots take place sometime in the 2020s, or maybe the early 2030s. After the riots, the Republican and Democrat parties fall out of favour, and other third parties with strong values, such as the Libertarian party, fall apart due to the pressure of the riots and the anti-political sentiments of the rioters themselves.

Enter: The United Party of America. The party is mostly centrist, and claims to be an apolitical organization. It claims to have the interests of all citizens in mind, although that couldn't possibly be the case. Really, the only reason they're able to take power is because of the nature of the riots, as well as their results. In any other world, such a party could never take power.

It's mostly just a commentary on the nature of political division, as well as the hypocrisy of politicians. I'm not sure how the result would turn out; I'm going to wait to write it after I get at least a couple chapters of CusServ finished.

{ End Log }

02 - Mar - 2020

Okay, so the wallpaper project might not be happening, since I suck at image editing, and I honestly don't enjoy it as much as I wish I did.

I am, however, working on a series of short stories called "CusServ." It takes place in the year 2089, and features different people working in the "customer service" field (bartenders, waiters, cashiers, etc). There will be a tie-in with another, bigger story that mostly goes beyond their perspective. Essentially, it's sort of like a story if it were told from the points of view of background characters, rather than one central character. I think it would be an interesting writing process, and I hope you enjoy reading it, too.

{ End Log }

29 - Feb - 2020

I was listening to some songs earlier, where the artists had made music which went through 26 musical genres; one for each letter of the alphabet. I found this interesting, and started to think about how I could possibly make some wallpapers to personify some genres. I think I could also make a fun YouTube video out of it when/if I really get the ball rolling, but we'll see about that.

During the "planning phase," I decided to make this chart to map out the sub-genres that I could explore while working on this project:

(oh man I love having to re-work my CSS to fill in one fuckin image for my blog)

You see, I think of music as a way to express an emotion or atmosphere, so this chart fits how I like to view music. Maybe this isn't a perfect example of how music should be viewed, but it fits my interpretation of how I see music, so whatever.

Anyway, I'm gonna sleep on the idea, and if I follow through with it, I'll update progress in the Image Gallery.

{ End Log }

27 - Feb - 2020

Well, it's been almost a full month since I requested for /syspace/ to be created on 8kun. So far, there hasn't been any progress on this.

I think it might be time to set up an alternative. I don't have monies to host my own site, and I have no clue how one would set up an imageboard, much less if it would be possible on Neocities. I suppose I could use ProBoards, but I've never really liked that site. I don't have a problem with its privacy policy or anything, or the site's design itself, but something about ProBoards rubs off on me the wrong way. Not sure how to explain it; maybe my retarded brain is just doing its thing. I'll think it over for a while, and see what I can do to set up a forum for Systemspace.

{ End Log }

26 - Feb - 2020

Well, as of Dahlia and the Dragon, I've transcribed pretty much all of my stories onto this website. I do have a few more stories that were abandoned or lost, but for the most part, I've posted everything that I want to be on here.

I guess the only thing left to do now is just keep on writing and making images and doing my own thing. Updates to this site will be a lot more sparse from now on, unless you count the blog. Yeah, I'm still planning on updating this frequently, seeing that I don't have a personal journal, and I think that people should read about what I have on my mind. I guess it might compensate for lying to all of my therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists?

I have a remake of Jeff the Killer in the works, and the first draft is actually done. I just need to have a friend look it over, then make some revisions to improve it. Hopefully it's a million times better than the originial story, but if you've ever actually read the original, then you'd know that anything would be better than that. I'm also working on a novel titled M. Maybe it's more of a novella? I dunno, I guess I'll figure things out as it goes along. I might post chapters in stories as I work on it, but I dunno. Whatever happens, I hope my readers enjoy it!

{ End Log }

18 - Feb - 2020

Well, Nazashi's shrine is finally complete. I've posted it on my YouTube channel. I didn't include a eulogy from myself, since I had already made a contribution on top of creating the shrine, so the following will serve as my eulogy to Nazashi:

Nazashi is more than a Migrant or an acquaintance; perhaps even more than a person. In all the time I've known him, he showed nothing but compassion, understanding, and a nature of goodheartedness. He was someone so friendly that I wish I could live up to how I saw him. My first impression on him was one where we understood each other's tastes. It's not exactly something that I like to bluntly state, but I'm a submissive boy who prefers the company of a leading woman. I suppose people like me aren't very common, and to see that Nazashi had the same taste as I was nothing short of a delight to me.

I regret saying that I know him mostly for this "kinky" (for lack of a better word) aspect. I understood his romantic needs, and knew him well for his tastes, but there was so much more I would have liked to know. In the time leading to his death, I had planned to interact with him more; to get to know him better. Maybe I ended up knowing more about him than most others do; or at the very least, I got to know a side of his which not everyone saw. He had an affinity for the occult, and I have to admit that I, myself, found it to be fascinating. I don't believe in it, but the aspects of its rituals and systems are nothing short of intriguing. Of course, too, I knew about his birds. Those little flying bastards always made their squawks whenever he so much as turned over in his own bed.

As much as I regret not knowing him better than I could have, there is one regret I have, which pales in comparison to the aforementioned. After the death of Kitty0706, I remember watching a video made in his memorial. At the end of the video was an audio excerpt of Kitty in an interview, where the interviewer asked Kitty what his one message to everyone would be. When I started Normal Conversations with Normal People, I made a promise to ask that question to everyone on the show: "What is your message to the world?"

In the Systemspace episode featuring Nazashi, however, I forgot to ask that question. More than anything else, I wish I could know and spread what his answer to that question would have been. For the world, for the laymen, for the scholars, for the children, for the old... What was his message to them?

I guess we'll never know.

{ End Log }

15 - Feb - 2020

ALL RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, THE DEPRESSION TRAIN ENDS HERE. IF YOU WANT TO BE SAD, THEN GET THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE TODAY, SOMETHING MADE ME INCREDIBLY HAPPY!

But first, some context. As you may or may not know, I'm currently in my Senior year of high school, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I've looked at 4 colleges, visited 3 of them, filled out applications for 2, and actually applied to 1. I honestly didn't expect to be accepted; in fact, I mostly applied to one place because it was a nice college, and because I didn't really care all that much about college. Yeah, I know, it's very stupid to put your eggs into one basket, but apathy leads to stupid decisions. Stupid decisions, however, can sometimes lead to spectacular surprises (Note: Don't actually do something stupid and then expect a spectacular surprise. 99 times out of 98 attempts, the result will just be something sad).

So, yeah, I ended up getting accepted to the college I applied to! Their acceptance rate is just about 62%, and my confidence level of being accepted was somewhere around 60%. I've learned that lowering my expectations can lead to some really pleasing outcomes, even if the outcome isn't a good one. Now, do I go to casinos, play slots, and then expect to win because I expect to lose? No. Rather, I play Russian Roulette, try as hard as I can to not care about whether or not I die, and then die anyway because I forgot to empty out the other 5 chambers. Sometimes, though, the gun misfires. And this, my friends, was a fortunate misfire.

Or maybe I'm not as retarded as I think I am, I dunno. Either way, this turned into a really weird rant. Bottom line: I'M GOING TO COLLEGE, AND I'M FUCKING PLEASED ABOUT IT.

I can pay for it all, right?

{ End Log }

12 - Feb - 2020

You know, I think it's about time I talk about work. I hate my job. I've been having actual nightmares about it. I work as a prep cook, and for the most part it's fine, but I just suck at it. My days are supposed to be 8 hours, but I usually end up having to work even longer; sometimes 9 hours. I'm constantly bossed around by the other kitchens and my nightmares involve people swarming my kitchen and demanding for me to make things for them. "Cook this, cook that, stop doing what you're doing." The worst part is that my job is supposed to be simple, and if I were to mention what it entails (Cooking goetta, bacon, sausages, homefries, onions, and peppers), it would seem like a simple job. I think that's what's most stressful about it; it's supposed to be simple, but because I'm fucking up, I feel more pressure to do things right.

I can't approach my boss. I can't talk to people honestly. I'm a coward who can't make any demands to make my job easier, and I'm deathly afraid of saying that I want to quit my job. I'm almost about to graduate, and I need the money to pay for college. Supposing I even go to college. The uncertainty of the future is a constant factor for my anxiety, and I envy anyone who so much as claims that they have a plan for their future. Even if it's just some lie that they're telling themselves, I still feel jealous of them for being able to, at the very least, remain optimistic.

Well, that's all for now. Goodbye.

{ End Log }

05 - Feb - 2020

Goodbye, Nazashi.

You were a good person, a good Migrant, and an irreplaceable friend.

For those of you who are unaware, Nazashi has unfortunately died due to reasons I wish not to disclose publicly. He is missed dearly by the members of Systemspace, and a memorial shrine is being made for him. I hope for his family's grieving to be calm and swift.

I'll see you in LFE, Naz. Love you.

{ End Log }

01 - Feb - 2020

Well, I finally made the first official addition to the Stories page. I have to admit, I'm really not a big fan of that story, but I do like the concept. When it comes to my own writing, I typically think that something I've written is pure genius, up until I read over it again 2 months later. The pacing and dialogue are a little awkward, and it honestly isn't frightening at all. But, let's not allow my self-deprication ruin your perception of the story. Go ahead and read it for yourself.

In other news, I've submitted a SystemSpace board to 8kun. It took me a while of thinking before deciding to do it, but eventually I came to the conclusion: "What do I have to lose?" I don't expect it to be used by any Migrants, but I've seen some people very disappointed in the fact that the SystemSpace boards are down, so who knows? I actually hope it does work out. If/when the board is up, it can be reached at /syspace/.

{ End Log }

27 - Jan - 2020

All right, so I've completed what I assume to be a majority of the necessary CSS to stylize this site, but I honestly doubt that that's actually the case. As much as I hate to admit it, I don't know as much about HTML as I should, and I'm afraid that might have some hindrance on this website itself, but whatever. The more I look at the Mozilla tutorials, the less I want to follow through with making this website, so I think that getting started on the blogging area is a good way to keep up my productivity.

Honestly, it's probably a lot easier to make a website than I'm making it out to be. There's only a very slight learning curve to coding, and the only thing holding me back is my lack of motivation. I'd say, "Can you blame me for not being motivated?" but the answer would be a clearly obvious "yes." Oh well, back to work.

{ End Log }